I'm overly attracted and terribly convinced
by The makeup freak
Summary: SLASH! Ryan/Brendon. Bandslash. Rated M. The morning after Brendon's hit. Read to find out more! Don't like it, don't read. No I do not own the people, this isn't real. Only in my mind. "Everyone, I am Ryan Ross and I am gay. - that would not fly."
1. Will you dance to this beat?

"Oh, look."

"You get a bed to yourself, Ryry."

"Fantastic!"

Brendon grinned that stupidly adorable grin of his, shinny teeth and all. Ryan forced a smile. He wanted to sleep in the same bed as Brendon. Why? Did it matter? Who didn't? Ryan stood awkwardly, lugging his heavy suitcase through the door, being strangled by the strap of his guitar case. Brendon giggled at him, falling back against his own bed. It would be a rough day today. Dramatic sigh. Oh, the lifestyles of fabulous rock stars. Screaming fans, always smiling, playing for money, out all night. Not to mention the drugs, booze and hot sex. Ryan could get any girl- or boy- he wanted, really. He was famous, he was gorgeous; but Ryan didn't want just any boy and certainly not a girl. Ryan Ross wanted Brendon Urie. He wanted Brendon so bad—because Brendon was an angel.

The chocolate eyed boy fluttered his lids open to stare at Ryan in that moment. He was tired, but forcing himself awake by drinking more Red Bull than the average person consumed any liquid. He was watching Ryan watch him, upside down. Everything seemed better upside down, really. Brendon gave a giggle, the kind that left Ryan's cheeks a tint of blossom and a shiver snake down his thin spine. Then Brendon's hand reached for his own pocket, calloused fingers brushing past the material of his girl jeans- because Brendon wore girl jeans, and it was rather fucking adorable. Ryan knew what he was getting and the older boy sat up on his heels, watching him carefully.

Yup. Brendon was taking another smoke. Good ol' drugs.

DRINK ALL DAY. PLAY ALL NIGHT. LET'S GET IT POPPIN'.

I wanna be a rock star.

Warm. Protected. Brendon. There was no way Ryan Ross was in his own bed, now. And he knew this. Oh no, he couldn't have. There was no way Ryan would let that happen, he wasn't that stupid. But he had. And boy, Ryan was feeling awful for doing it, too. Ryan had fallen asleep with Brendon last night, in his bed. With a high Brendon. But Brendon wouldn't be high when he woke up, he would be a sober Brendon and most likely an upset Brendon. Ryan had taken advantage of him. Sure they didn't do anything…

If you don't count the perfect touches, sweet kisses. Damn, Brendon was an angel. Lids flickered opened and frantic hazel orbs searched the hotel room. He didn't even remember their position, last night that they had slept in, but he soon realized that Brendon was in his arms. A sleeping angel snored- rather loudly, at that- in his arms and Ryan let out a soft sigh. He was awfully stupid. What happened to him proving to everyone- not to mention himself- he wasn't gay.

He could remember his conversation with Jon like it was yesterday. Jon and Spencer were right next door, hell, they probably knew what was going on; what diabolical plan Ryan had in that beautiful evil head of his.

"So… You're gay." Jon stated, blankly. He stared at Ryan, his eyes showing this was no surprise.

Ryan gapped. "What- no! Fuck, _Jon._ What… No, I'm- why would you assume… What- why?"

Jon couldn't help but laugh and shrug his shoulders. "I can tell." Was all the dark haired man said.

"How?" Ryan blinked, spitting the word through a closed jaw.

"I can see it in the way you stare at Brendon Urie."

And then it hit Ryan. He was in love with Brendon and he hadn't even realized it. No, Jon realized it. Spencer probably did. Gabe, Pete, William. They'd always make jokes about 'Ryden'; jokes that earned them all a dirty look and each a smack on the back of their heads. Brendon would always laugh of the jokes. Brendon loved to laugh. He loved being funny and making everyone feel good; just being around the big idiot made Ryan feel good.

But admitting it is the next step.

Ryan didn't want to admit it. Denial. It was certainly what it was. He was in denial. Ryan was, in fact, so far into that closet that clothes engulfed him and he was sure he couldn't get out. He was afraid of the light. Ryan was scared of what people would say- what people would think. Gabe, William, Spencer, Travis… Brendon. What Brendon would think?

And then, Ryan even wondered, how does one even come about with saying that?

"_Everyone. I am Ryan Ross, and I am gay."_

Hah. Laugh. Good joke. That would not fly. But when Ryan really thought about it, when he thought really hard- he honestly didn't care what other people thought about him. He didn't care what his friends had to say, not even what his family had to say. Brendon was the only one that mattered now and for Ryan to let something as stupid as the most flawless boy in the world get to him; that was bad. But Brendon had somehow- eventually- managed to crawl into Ryan's heart.

With his adorably stupid laugh, his stupid way he said stupid things, his stupid totally sexy applebottom and his stupid… Stupidness. Ryan was more than attracted, more than infatuated. Ryan _needed_ Brendon. He needed Brendon like a drug, like water, like air. Brendon was the sweetest taste of sin and Ryan loved it. Ryan loved the way Brendon would flirt with him on stage, occasionally drape his arm protectively around the thinner boy. Ryan loved when Brendon would kiss his cheek. It was different. It was a different kind of kiss; not like how he would give to Gabe, Pete or Jon. It was kind of kiss that left butterflies flapping madly in Ryan's stomach. And this angered him.

Yes, he was mad at himself. Coming out was so hard and there was no way Brendon liked him the same way. They were just band-mates and nothing more. But damn, oh damn the light. Ryan liked the closet. It was warm in there and he wasn't afraid. He could hide. He could pretend all he wanted. It was nice to pretend. In his dreams, Ryan pretended the most outrageous thing. That Brendon Urie was, even just for a second, was his.

Ryan let his arms instinctively tighten around Brendon as he held him closer. He was being protective; because now, whilst Brendon was asleep, Brendon was his. The taller boy let his head move to brush his plump, chapped lips over Brendon's forehead. Then a thought struck his mind just as Brendon's soft skin made contact to his lips.

_You fucking moron. You're doing this to yourself. Stop!_

Brendon was so innocent, in his own juvenile way. Brendon was so perfect. Ryan didn't just have to have him; he could not _not_ have him. And this is when Ryan's diabolical mind went into overdrive. Ryan would just have to be greedy. He could get what he wanted, if he played that way; if he was the temptress.

Ryan slowly ran his finger tips down Brendon's back, massaging absently. Brendon reacted with a twitch of those perfect lips and a small mumble of some incoherent word. Ryan let his hand grace back up Brendon's back to play with his hair. Brendon was laying partly on him and Ryan steadied his breathing. Slow, even breaths.

_In, out, in, out._

His heart, however, he could not seem to control. It pounded rapidly in his chest like the beat to some intense Stones song; he just hoped it wouldn't wake the sleeping beauty. Ryan swallowed, a lump caught in his throat.

What if Brendon woke up and Brendon was scared? What if Brendon pushed Ryan away? Ryan would cry. Ryan would_ die_. Brendon needed to love him back. Brendon was a baby, he'd gathered over the years of knowing him- and babies were clingy. Ryan would be okay with that. Hell, he'd be more than okay. The older boy continued to watch Brendon sleep, running his pink tongue over his own bottom lip as he stared and let out a soft breath against his skin. Just a whisper. Just a thought.

_I love you. _


	2. And hold a lover close?

Ryan Ross wanted to hold Brendon for the rest of his life. He wanted to hold him and love him and kiss him forever. But this, and he knew it well, was wrong. It was so very wrong. Not only was Brendon of the same sex as him- and Brendon's religion would knock that ticket sky high- but Brendon also wasn't his. Brendon had Audrey, and for that, Ryan hated Audrey.

What did pink hair have that he didn't? Ryan could go pink, if that's what Brendon liked. Ryan would do anything if Brendon asked it. Legit, he just hoped Brendon wouldn't say 'Jump', because Ryan would not even need to ask 'how high?' He would jump to the moon for Brendon Urie. Why? Because the boy made his heart race, his blood pump, his head shut down, his eyes cloudy and not to mention, his dick hard.

Yes, Ryan was attracted to Brendon; therefore, Ryan was sure he'd forever be hard for him. Who wasn't attracted to Brendon Boyd Urie? The boy was a gift from the heavens. As the younger boy managed to nuzzle even more on top of Ryan, the older boy took the initiative to protectively wrap his legs around Brendon, locking them.

Shut, fixed, closed. Like his heart. On the topic of Brendon, there was no hesitation. Ryan was head over converse for the chocolate eyed baby. His mind boggled for a moment as Brendon snored, laying in the crook of Ryan's neck. As Brendon's breath ticked Ryan's skin, the older boy sighed softly.

_Please be mine, please be mine. _

The problem was Ryan was overly confident… in his head. On the outside, Ryan was far from confident. He was shy and girly and bashful. Brendon had a way of killing the shyness, annihilating the awkwardness, concluding the secret passion. Ryan hoped maybe, just maybe, it was possible to get such a high off of Brendon Urie that he was able to be a minx. The kind of high Brendon got on his drugs, high.

Ryan wanted to be able to be a sexy temptress and lure Brendon. That way, he could play dirty- and Ryan would. He would bring his claws out with Audrey and fight for Brendon. Brendon was worth that, and some. Ryan would fight for Brendon's love, fight for his attention.

Stroking Brendon's hair, Ryan's hues glanced to the clock, wondering how long he'd wasted staring at Brendon. He silently giggled at Brendon's snoring; finding it adorable. It was Sunday, thank god, and that meant no concert today. Finally, Ryan could rest.

Ryan continued to daringly pepper kisses against the sleeping Brendon's forehead, his chest vibrating slightly from his soft chuckles and low giggles. Brendon was angelic. "Wake up, please." He whispered absently, the words slipping out without even a thought. He could kick himself for that. It was 11:00 and not to mention, the latest Ryan had ever slept in.

Could Ryan Ross save Brendon Urie? Did this need to be done? Ryan knew as much as an angel Brendon was in his eyes, but to others, Brendon was fucked up. And Ryan was going to take care of him.

Once he got it all out in the open that; _HEY, EVERYONE… I'M GAY AND IN LOVE WITH BRENDON URIE—_

Then yes. He would take care of him. Ryan took care of Brendon as it were, even if they weren't together.

And he would never change Brendon- not like Audrey did- Ryan was too much in love with the person Brendon was. But Brendon knew none of his secrets. He was sure Brendon had secrets of his own, but Ryan had a few. First there was that he was gay. _Phew, yes. We've established. _This would be the first one he told Brendon… Maybe? Maybe not. It was all a matter of what Brendon's reaction was when he woke up.

Speaking of, Ryan tilted his head for a moment, making sure Brendon was still breathing… Ah, yes. A snore. He's good.

Another secret Ryan had was that he was madly in love with Brendon. Oh god. He loved Brendon so much that the words 'I love you' were probably not even appropriate.

Then there was his anorexia. Ryan was anorexic, if Brendon couldn't guess this. He rarely ate, ever. And when he did, it was when no one was watching, and it was small, like a few crackers or something- never something that could feed his fuel. But Ryan wasn't a normal human being who needed food to live, no. Ryan lived off music. He lived off the feeling of his callused fingers against his guitar strings, writing music likes breathing air. Music was his fuel for the fire that burned deep inside him; not food.

But as for his secrets, there was another. Pete Wentz. Ryan and Pete had nothing- not in Ryan's in mind. Their relationship was zip. Friends with benefits didn't even fit the title. They weren't friends, but Pete knew too much about Ryan for Ryan to deny them being friends. He loved Pete in a weird way, even if hated him. He loved Pete in a way that was indescribable. Pete took, stole, his virginity. Ryan was pure until Pete and Pete had Ryan wrapped around his finger like dainty string.

String around finger- Not in the same way Brendon did, not out of love, but out of pure lust. Ryan was his toy and Ryan knew this. Brendon didn't want a slut and honestly, that was exactly what Ryan was. Brendon deserved better than a slut. He deserved the world; too bad Ryan was too greedy and selfish to give him up.

Ryan nuzzled Brendon more, running a hand over his applebottom and grinning to himself, a proud grin. Last night, when Brendon was high, he had told him it was his. That Brendon's applebottom was his. Ryan's. This thought made Ryan's heart soar. He squeezed it playfully and patted it, getting a little carried away and not realizing this would probably stir the angel's slumber. Ryan giggled rather loudly, rather obnoxiously and girly like as he groped and caressed Brendon's backside.

Brendon's eyes shot open and he looked startled, sitting up slightly. He wasn't used to be touched there- no one touched him there. Finally he relaxed, his eyes settling on Ryan's face. Brendon smiled goofily, looking down at himself. He was naked. This was no shock to Brendon, really, since Brendon always slept naked.

That wasn't what shocked him. What shocked him was that he was naked and there was another in the bed. Ryan Ross. His band-mate. Brendon swallowed and stared at Brendon with wide eyes, his facial expression saying it all.

_What the fuck did we do last night?_


	3. Testosterone boys

When Brendon spoke, Ryan snapped back into reality, moving his hand and looking at Brendon with alarmed eyes. _Fuck_. He woke him up. _Fuck_. Brendon knew he was touching him. Ryan smiled slightly, biting his lip as he stared up at Brendon.

_Try and stay cool._

"Morning, Bden." He whispered. Fuck. Now he was scared.

Brendon stared at Ryan awkwardly before clearing his throat. He expected an explanation.

He ran a hand through his own hair, scratching his head. Now he had to come up with a lie. Ryan was still dressed- thank Joseph, but he then noticed the state of his clothes.

His shirt was unbuttoned, his pants button opened and his zipper down.

Brendon gave him a strange look, his eyes following Ryan's and examining the clothes. Chocolate orbs stared skeptically at Ryan and Ryan found it impossible to breathe easily.

"Really, Ross?" Brendon's voice was husky. Oh god. If Ryan didn't have a hard on to begin with, he sure as hell had one now.

Ryan inhaled sharply. He was still in the clothes from last night.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Urie. We didn't do anything last night." He said defensively, dressing himself.

It was back to normal now- no more adorable cuddling that Ryan longed to do. No. Brendon wasn't letting it go, however. He sat up slightly, moving a hand swiftly under himself. Brendon pressed his fingers against his own entrance and Ryan gapped at him.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" Ryan squeaked, blinking his feminine eyelashes rapidly. Brendon chuckled, finally pulling his hand back.

"Checking to see if I was rapped last night." He said with a smirk and Ryan rolled his eyes, scoffing at Brendon.

"Fucker." He growled, getting up quickly.

Ryan was no longer scared and worried what Brendon would think, but he remembered Brendon's feisty attitude- that regrettably was something he was attracted to. Brendon laughed and laid back against the bed, sighing softly.

"So I'm supposed to believe… I'm naked, we're in the same bed, you're half out of your tiny clothes and we did _absolutely _nothing?" Brendon asked, looking up at Ryan through his eyelashes in a totally attractive way and Ryan had to remember how to speak English for a moment.

Damn it all. He couldn't. So he just nodded his head, staring back at Brendon who chuckled and looked away, searching for condom wrappers along the table and floor.

"Did Audrey come last night?" Brendon asked and Ryan wished he'd not mentioned her, or rather, not used those words.

_Heh, Audrey wasn't the one coming last night. _Ryan thought cheekily.

Bah. Fuck Audrey. Did Audrey stay with high Brendon all night? Did Audrey take care of sober Brendon in the morning? Did Audrey touch Brendon where he needed to be touched, where he craved- even if it was just high Brendon who was asking for it? Did Audrey embrace Brendon and hold him through the night? He at least hoped she didn't.

"No, she didn't." Ryan finally answered, getting up from the bed quickly.

Brendon's new words shocked him. He brought it up again. Was he never going to shut up about this incident?

"So… You're sure we didn't do anything last night?" Brendon asked, leaning back as he pulled out a cigarette from the drawer, lighting the fag and taking long drags.

Ryan was sweating. "I'm fucking sure, Brendon. Fuck off." He growled irritably. His back was to Brendon as he rummaged through clothes in his suitcase, trying to make himself look busy.

"Really? Because I remember you giving me the most fan_tastic_ blowjob last night." Brendon growled, watching Ryan's back the entire time- so he did catch Ryan's body freezing.

Fuck. He remembered. Brendon was on his feet in seconds but Ryan was too shocked to notice. He didn't hear the squeak of the springs as Brendon got up. He didn't hear the feet. But he did feel the breathing against his neck, the hands roping around his slender waist.

A hot kissed was placed against Ryan's throat and the older boy reacted by moving his head backward slightly; the rest of his body still frozen.

"Fuck you, Ross, for thinking I haven't adapted to my highs." Brendon said in a growl, his hands moving down to unbutton Ryan's pants. Ryan swallowed hard, suddenly feeling his body de-paralyze. He didn't stop Brendon. The chuckle against his skin when there was no answer, made Ryan shiver.

"I remember everything, Ryry. Be sure to keep that in mind next time you do dirty things to me when I'm high." He warned Ryan. The pants dropped to the ground and revealed no boxers- who knew Ryan was so kinky? Brendon's large, calloused hands fumbled with Ryan's shirt buttons, ripping them open and pulling roughly like a wild animal.

Ryan pushed his ass against Brendon's cock, leaning back into Brendon's body. Their bodies fit perfectly, like puzzle pieces. Both Ryan and Brendon let out moans, each complimenting the other's moan. Ryan's was higher and more girly and Brendon's was more like a growling groan as he moved roughly.

Within seconds, Ryan was flat against the bed on his stomach, his hips being pulled up by Brendon who was preparing him.

"Lesson learned, Ryro?" Brendon asked, groping Ryan's bubble butt before spanking him hard. The sound echoed through the room and made Ryan blush, a loud groan leaving his lips as he nodded quickly.

"Yes. Yes, yes, Bden." Ryan's words were moaned out as he wiggled his bottom. Damn it he felt like a slut.

Two, three fingers later, a wanton, screaming Ryan was left, hard and shaking.

"Brendon, pleaseeeeee." Ryan begged. Brendon was having fun spanking Ryan, occasionally pausing to jerk himself slightly.

The younger boy let out chuckles as he gripped Ryan's hips, pressing his cock against Ryan's entrance.

"Please what, Ryan?" Brendon smirked and Ryan whimpered, thrusting back to try and hope that Brendon would end up inside. His efforts failed and Ryan heard as a result, Brendon's snickers of triumph.

"F-fu… Fuck me.." He whispered, but Brendon didn't buy it. Ryan was spanked hard again, his ass pink now from Brendon's amount of attention.

Hazel eyes shot open and Ryan screamed, crying out. "FUCK ME, DAMNIT! URIE. FUCK MEEEE."

Now that, Brendon would buy. He paused, positioning himself before pushing slowly into Ryan.

Orgasms. Namely, Ryan's. Ryan Ross experienced four orgasms during Brendon's wild fucking. His voice was gone by the end, having screamed like the slut he was accused of being. Brendon orgasmed twice when he finally pulled out, laying against the bed with a sweaty and tired Ryan.

Finally they snuggled. Brendon held Ryan closed, kissing all over his face and brushing back his wet hair. Ryan was still panting.

"Damn, baby… Ryan, that was fantastic." Brendon praised, chuckling throatily. Ryan smiled and nodded in agreement, his eyes closing. He couldn't speak, so he just mouthed.

'I love you.'


End file.
